oil, immigration, and a disgusted lion

Today I learned that:

1. The smoke point of unrefined high-oleic sunflower oil is 320 ^oF.
2. Identifying the roughly 0.1% of illegal immigrants who don't survive their border-crossing attempt has started costing Southern Arizona tax payers about $400k a year, which sounds like a bundle, but if you think about it, it comes to less than $2.50 per person since the Tucson metropolitan area has a million residents all by itself.
3. When the MGM lion went on a cross-country flight in 1927 in a small airplane that failed to clear the Mogollon Rim, thus crash landing in central Arizona, the lion looked pretty disgusted.

manhole covers, puffed kamut, and feeling better

Today I learned that underground utility difficulties blow manhole covers into the air more often than you'd think.

In other news, I reacted to either the quinoa flakes or the puffed kamut in the oat-free granola I made this morning. (There's a reason you're only supposed to add one food at a time to your rotation diet.) Also, toasted puffed kamut looks and tastes exactly like sugar-free Sugar Smacks.

In yet more news, pollen season appears to be letting up, so I got to go for a walk. It didn't hurt that I finished recovering from that air freshener exposure, either.

And here's a picture of a lizard pooping on a sidewalk.

die, air fresheners, die!! continued

Today I learned that air fresheners really are extremely evil. I know I wrote about their evilness not long ago, but since I'd done such a good job of avoiding them until yesterday afternoon, I didn't really know what I was talking about until I woke up this morning.

genetic markers

Today I learned that pharmaceutical companies are getting together to try to identify what, genetically, causes some people to have adverse reactions to their drugs so they can avoid killing people. [Ed. note: the article didn't say anything about killing people. Just liver damage and life-threatening skin blistering.] If they successfully identify people who cannot tolerate their drugs, then it's entirely possible that they might be able to identify people who are at risk for environmental illness.

If we could establish by, say, blood test, that 15% of people were at risk from low doses of common synthetic chemicals, would the 'healthy' 85% cut back on the chemicals, just to be nice? Given that the general populace has been brainwashed by marketers to believe chemical products are necessary for their very existence, nice probably doesn't stand a chance. It might be more productive to have more Vogue articles telling people that chemicals are screwing up our species' ability to reproduce.

See, if we use so many chemicals that our reproductive rates are affected, in order to keep our economy growing, we'll have to import people from other places. Those of us who live an hour from our southern border are well aware that many people work very hard and sometimes die just for the chance to participate in the American dream. Those of us this close to our southern border are also very, very aware that many, many people are very fixated on illegal immigration, so if you say 'immigration,' they get all incoherent and red in the face instead of coming up with a more sensible solution to the problem than building a 700 mile long fence through some really, really rough country that would be better patrolled by appropriately placed towers like the ones they have outside of Arivaca that are currently broken.

But anyway, this wasn't supposed to be an immigration debate, but conservatives seem to be most upset by it, and they're also the ones least likely to be swayed by a polite request to limit chemical use. By arguing that chemicals cause immigration, I believe we could motivate positive change throughout the political structure.

Thank you. Thank you very much.

P.S. Pharmaceuticals'll kill you when you get old.

don't try this at home

Today I learned that if I take my trees, grasses, and weeds antigen before I leave, I can ride hard for about half an hour before I get into a lot of trouble with the pollen and have to stop on the side of the trail. I was expecting something like that, so I brought a second shot. I had to wait a couple of minutes for it to take effect, but I ended up having a pretty good ride.

I really don't think this application is exactly what my doctor had in mind for desensitization/neutralization shots, but I got to go for a ride.

go west

Have a picture of the Tucson basin. Apparently that west wind we had all day yesterday blew the whole city's pollen over here to the eastern edge, just like what happens with the pollution. It would have been nice to know about this when we moved to town, but I guess at this point it just means that it's time to learn my way around the trails on the west side of town.

Also, the trick to sewing seams four inches apart all the way across a 52 x 64 inch canvas bag is to roll up the parts you aren't sewing on so they're easier to hold onto. I'm never going to be a quilter, but if I ever need to make a quilt instead of couch padding, I'll be all set.

local trivia

Today I learned that up around 4000 feet on Mt. Lemmon at Molino Basin, there is only slightly less pollen than there is here in town at about 2700 feet. Colossal Cave Park (3600 feet) was still better than home or Molino Basin, but there was a breeze today, so it wasn't as good as it was yesterday.

In other news, there is an Arizona Competitive Telecommunications Association, and it feels that it's being unnecessarily targeted by a new no-texting-while-driving law. I suppose if people stop buying expensive gadgets solely because they are not allowed to send text messages with them while they drive, I might consider feeling sorry for them. As it is, I might have to accuse them of being a bunch of whiners.

mainstream announcement that chemicals will kill you

Today I learned that Vogue published an article about how synthetic chemicals are giving people fertility problems (pdf). My understanding is that Vogue is in charge of telling us about pretty dresses and face paint and celebrities, so I should be really, really pleased that all these mainstream, fashion-conscious Vogue readers have been exposed to the idea that synthetic chemicals are bad for them.

So, wohoo! If we freak out the Vogue-reading mainstream synthetic chemical consumer, that'll shrink the market for unnecessary synthetic chemicals. That would be great!

Now I'm all bummed out that we have so many dangerous synthetic chemicals that fashion magazines feel compelled to report on them. I mean, what fun is that?

local conditions and foods

THIS AFTERNOON I LEARNED BY STICKING MY HEAD OUTSIDE FOR A FEW MINUTES THAT THE REASON I'VE BEEN ASKING EVERYBODY TO REPEAT THEMSELVES RECENTLY IS BECAUSE SOMETHING IN THE LOCAL POLLEN MAKES IMPORTANT PARTS OF MY EARS SWELL. OH, AM I SPEAKING TOO LOUDLY?

Sorry. In other weird news, we started comparing rotation diets with the new mold-injured guy, and it turns out that our safe foods are remarkably similar. Everybody else we know is able to eat what seems to us to be a random assortment of foods, and they are pretty impressed that my husband and I could synchronize our diets. To find somebody who we could actually have over for dinner sometime without it being a potluck is almost eerie.

In other news, rapeseed will kill you! But only because you can make ethanol-based biofuel from it, which we already reported makes even more toxic exhaust fumes than gasoline. It's not because it has the word 'rape' in it or that thing about covalent bonds the body can't break (see this blog's Quote of the Year for 1996). It's just because that's what happens when you burn ethanol.

modern fashion

Today I read some trashy gossip, where I was supposed to learn that some Big Brother inhabitant is taking fashion hints from Posh Spice a little too seriously. What I learned instead is that the dresses involved look like a transporter accident between a dress in Spock's Brain and the thing the lady wore in The Gamesters of Triskelion. Plus a little Buck Rogers.

In local news, after an overnight storm yesterday morning, several of us have been stuck indoors. I don't know if it's mold or pollen or something else, but it's not just me.

die, air fresheners, die!

Today I learned that Walgreens yanked three of its store brand air fresheners from shelves shortly after a bunch of environmental groups sent a huge petition, which included the results of lab tests on a bunch of air fresheners, to the EPA and Consumer Product Safety Commission. Walgreens made the top three worst offenders in terms of phthalate concentrations, so maybe that's why their stores have been so toxic.

[Related, but off-topic rant warning] I expect the reason that all drugstores, not just Walgreens, are so toxic is that they carry the same evil products -- pesticides, air fresheners, and Bounce, for example -- that conventional grocery stores do, but their stores are smaller, so the chemicals are more concentrated. We EIs make more noise about how Home Depot air will kill you, but that's just because we can, for the most part, avoid drugstores entirely.

You hear that, drugstores? We hate you. Craft stores, too, but we really can avoid you entirely, and keep in mind that our main demographic is middle-aged and older women stuck at home by themselves.

But back to the air fresheners. The industry's response can be summarized by

We don't think that the products, when they're used properly, cause a risk to consumers.

They think? That's not what Walgreens thought.

the random assortment

Today I learned that during birth, a baby's head only fits through its mom's hips one way, and when it gets a little farther out, it has to turn again to clear her tailbone. This is the kind of thing you learn when your tv gets incorrect program information, and you meant to record something much less educational.

In other inadvertent news, a new mold-injured EI in town, a guy who actually watches the news, told me that the correct radio frequency can split salt water so you can burn the hydrogen. It sounds handy, but according to National Geographic News, it's not. Also, there's a pill in the works that makes genetic diseases step over the bad part of the DNA instead of getting stuck, so this has the potential to step over type 1 diabetes and cystic fibrosis.

I also learned that it takes a couple of hours for a real estate agent to knock on 800 doors and tell people like me that the Tucson housing inventory is shrinking and that the market here should be all recovered in a year and a half. He also said that at the county open house, they said they're going to widen this one two-lane road around here to six lanes, which, at the times I drive on that road, would pretty much allow each car to have its own lane. Based on what I read on the county website, I think they mean to go for four lanes in the near future with an option for six later, but what do I know? It's not like I ever try to go to public meetings.

Ok, I lied, but if you don't have science fiction authors, I'm really not going to make an effort.

middle age

Today I learned that middle-aged people, ages 35 to 54, are more out of control than teenagers, so they're all going to die.

Hey, wait - I just learned I'm middle aged and I'm going to die. Well, crap.

food, cancer, and epidemics

Today I learned that some fast-growing cancers can be stalled or even shrunk by putting their hosts on a souped-up version of the Atkins diet. Those cancer cells are apparently good at getting energy from sugars, but they suck at getting it from fats.

In other health news, I found an article that discusses all the contradictory information that comes out of epidemiological studies. One day, alcohol will kill you, and the next, alcohol is good for you, but oh, wait, maybe it's something in these here grapes they made that wine out of, etc. Mostly what I learned is that I don't really care why epidemiologists report seemingly random information. I just like repeating it.

So, um, early puberty gives women breast cancer.

peer pressure

Today I learned by checking various links at Fark that we can reverse the obesity epidemic with a healthy dose of peer pressure. The theory was put forth by a newspaper columnist who observed that British people are porkers, Europeans aren't, and Europeans are way less accepting of obesity than the British. She allowed as how there are some medical conditions that cause people to gain weight, but the majority of the fatties are just hogs who should be taken to task, which brings us to the story about Southwest Airlines upsetting an obese man by making him buy an extra seat to accommodate his girth. He has since lost 50 pounds to avoid further humiliation, thus demonstrating that peer pressure is, in fact, quite effective.

Since Southwest has also begun reigning in hot young ladies' tendency to exhibit exorbitant amounts of flesh, we could take this to mean that we should all turn to Southwest to heal the screwinesses of society, except they don't fly into Atlanta, which had to pass its own ordinance outlawing saggy pants. They don't fly into Minneapolis, either, so they're missing the boat on Senatorial bathroom footsie, too.

Maybe they just need to fly into more cities.

stay tuned

Today I'm getting over yesterday's crushing disappointment and rearranging my overly-optimistic world view to reflect the fact that the air quality in public buildings will kill you. We'll return to our regularly scheduled programming tomorrow.

bad ideas

Today I learned that the room at the library where they were holding the science fiction writer panel discussion is all full of chemicals. I think the problem was carpet cleaning chemicals, but it was hard to tell over the general awfulness. I stayed for maybe 97 seconds.

Since I had nothing better to do then, I sat in the car while my husband went into the hardware store, and a cigar-smoking guy in an enormous pickup backed into our small, aged BMW and gave it a small, upsetting dent. I almost got to the horn before he did it, but I thought he was going to miss.

So as much as I intended to learn a lot about writing science fiction, all I know today that I didn't know yesterday, besides some insurance information, is that that room at the library reeks, and that you aren't supposed to use a nail set to get the pin out of a door hinge. It says so on the package, so it must be a really terrible idea.

counterproductive advertising and hubris

Today I learned that according to the Target ad that appeared when I did a Google search for beechnut fabric, Target thinks it carries beechnut fabric, which is about as likely as a standard fabric store carrying live snakes. Target also thinks it carries jamb saws, which you can't even find to rent in this town. It doesn't seem to think it has blue suede shoes, however, which may well be true. Whatever the case, I think somebody needs to invest in a better algorithm. One that doesn't annoy the heck out of potential customers would be nice.

Onward to the hubris. Yesterday I remarked that I didn't have a problem holding my computer on my lap. Yesterday I spent fifteen minutes at a meeting at somebody's house where I always get sick. This afternoon I learned that I can smell the hot electronics smell from my computer on my fingers after I type something. Right after I finish this, I'm going to go wash my hands.

Tomorrow I'm going to go to the public library and listen to a bunch of science fiction writers discuss writing for as long as I can. I've been looking forward to this for a month. I hope I get to stay past the introductions.

light bulbs and things that'll kill you

I generally don't come out for political debates, but because of global warming, people are talking about banning incandescent light bulbs and making us all use compact fluorescent bulbs (CFLs). I have two problems with this proposal:

1. CFLs contain upwards of 5 mg of mercury each, and it gets released if you break the bulb. We EIs really dislike the concept of being one klutzy action from mercury poisoning, which a bunch of us suffer from already.
2. The guy who lives down the road from me got one of these bulbs because everybody thinks they're so wonderful, but because his wife has electromagnetic field sensitivities (ES), he checked it, and he measured 100 milligauss (mG) near, not even at, this bulb. For comparison, I found this page where some engineers measured the magnetic field in townhouses built near two sets of power lines at 8 to 12 mG. If people worry about 8 mG, you could not pay me to fill my house up with >100 mG light bulbs, and I don't even suffer from ES.

So in terms of ES, I'm a normie. I'm right where the majority of the population is relative to chemical sensitivities: clueless except for what people tell me. And you know what? I'm typing with my laptop right on my lap. I've been known to sleep within three feet of a powered-up air cleaner. I've stood near the microwave when my husband puts water in there, so I get that whole thing about people using synthetic chemicals because they're handy and they don't actually hurt anyone in the immediate vicinity. The thing is that you never know if or when that could change, and for some of us it already has, so requiring everybody to use CFLs is going to leave some people in the dark.

Ok, that was kind of serious, so here are some fantastic headlines:

• The deodorant safety guide: How picking the right brand could save your life
• No demons in milk, insists farmers' group

warning: gruesome description of bug killing

Yesterday I learned that if there's a bunch of pollen outside, waiting until evening to report what I learned doesn't work very well because it's hard to stay in the house where it's safe, and I get all stupid and tired by afternoon.

So last night I have a vague recollection of my husband spotting a scorpion near the coffee table, and it was healthy. We've been aware of only two scorpions that have made it into the house, and they were either dead or not feeling well, but they were both came in when we still had carpet instead of hardwood floors. So if you've been reading this blog with any regularity, you already know that I feel compelled to attribute their illness to carpet chemicals.

Back to the live, running scorpion. We corralled it in an applesauce jar, and then, since the previous two scorpions we sent to the family botanist didn't look right because they died of natural(ish) causes, we had to kill it so we could ship it. I'm not usually much for just up and killing stuff, but I was pretty out of it last night, and I was raised by people who value good bug collections, so I said, "Let's drown it in alcohol." I mean, if it had stung me, I'd be in pretty bad shape, and I knew I wasn't going to turn it loose, so I suppose I could have just squashed it and been done with it, but then the botanist wouldn't have had a good specimen with which to freak out students. Thus I learned that scorpions can swim around in alcohol for a while, looking quite irate. The result is that if you want that classic annoyed scorpion pose, with the tail up and the claws reaching, drowning it in alcohol is the way to go.

Then this morning I checked in with the botanist because it's polite to call before you just send someone a scorpion and learned that her yard, which she uses as a stockroom for plants to show students, is in one of the apple moth quarantine zones, so now she has to go buy samples. Also, there are apple moth quarantine zones.

death and pollen

Today I learned that plastic and overprotective parents will kill your children.

The only other thing I learned was that whatever pollen I've been having trouble with got really serious today, so I'm all dizzy and dopey. That's better than having heart palpitations and being dopey, so I guess that's all right.

the tortoise and the corm

Today I learned that some people take desert tortoises home with them and that it's illegal to do so, but oh, isn't he cute, looking over his shoulder at us??


We walked off the trail around him so as not to freak him out and got the front end:


Ok, so 'cute' wasn't my first thought this morning when we found this beastie striding up the trail. Because of that article, my first thought was more along the lines of how many years he'd been walking that particular piece of trail. And I have no idea if he was a he or a she. I don't tend to go around picking up the wildlife just to check my pronouns.

I also learned that:

1. There is such a thing as a corm.
2. Corms aren't bulbs. They're planty underground storage containers made of stem. (Just repeat that to the next botanist you meet. Also, 'bipalmate.')
3. "Corms can form many small cormlets called cormels."

This isn't a corm, but it has purty flowers.

fat and a nose like a bloodhound

Today I learned that it only takes ten months to lose 110 pounds, so I was completely wrong that time I estimated it would take a year and a half to lose 100 pounds. In personal weight-loss news, I have no idea how much I weigh currently because my bathroom scale is sealed into the master bathroom, which has a smell, and it's not worth going in there since I didn't weigh a whole lot to start with.

We've been trying to get the synthetic chemicals left by the previous residents out of the bathroom cupboards. More accurately, my husband has been scrubbing them with multiple solvents and not getting anywhere. We could just tape them shut again, but we want to be able to use them someday, so we're probably going to have to paint the insides. For our last-ditch effort before we do that, which involves finding safe-for-me paint, we're going to ozone.

We knew fiddling with the cabinets was going to stink up the bedroom, so we've been sleeping in the living room. The bedroom was stinkified as expected, but we thought I'd be perfectly fine in there once the bathroom was sealed off for ozoning, and that wasn't the case. I've been killing brain and/or liver cells in two-minute increments for several days now sniffing the air at various points in the room, but just tonight I learned that one wall smells like that powder stuff the lady who lived here before strewed all over the inside of the air conditioning intake (probably not on purpose). That wall has been mopped multiple times since we moved here over two and half years ago, and it's not like that smell comes out when you scrub the bathroom cabinets, either.

So now I know why I took it for granted that I had to sleep near an air cleaner. I also half expect somebody to pat me on the head and borrow me to detect counterfeit dvds.

stuff I shouldn't eat or breathe

Today I learned that I can eat half a flourless chocolate cake with 3/4 of a pound of strawberries and not get sick. It's not something I'm going to do much because around here it's considered birthday cake, and it only happens once a year, but not necessarily all that close to anyone's birthday. Last year it kept me up all night.

What appeared to make me a little sick was eating meat that came from Wild Oats' closest local rival, Sunflower, so I'm going to have to bite the bullet and wear a mask in Wild Oats to obtain protein. The meat counter guys all recognize me because I try to buy two weeks worth of food at once, and some of them know how much of what I generally ask for, but communication is going to be harder when my end sounds like Kenny.

In other news, we had rain the last three days and conditions like 90% humidity, so we couldn't pressurize the house without making the indoors drip. I keep saying I'm getting better, and I am, but being able to pressurize the house overnight makes the difference between a tv coma and a moderately productive member of the household, if not actual society.

easy food, Tennessee, Nevada, and Northern California

I had my suspicions, but today I learned that making granola from scratch is ridiculously easy, ranking right up there with pudding as one of the easiest recipes ever, particularly if you pare down the recipe you found to only four ingredients. Now that I have no excuse to buy granola anymore, I'm back making every single thing I eat from scratch again, and I'm a little put out. Here I'm trying to re-enter normie society, and it turns out that convenience foods are more convenient if I make them myself. Also, they cost less.

In other news, Tennessee has a 'crack tax,' where they require drug dealers to anonymously pay for tax stamps for their merchandise. If they don't go anonymously pay their taxes, if they get caught, the state goes after the taxes, too. Tennessee is an interesting place.

And in case you needed to know, you can still call the time lady in Nevada and Northern California.

mostly all about food

Today I learned that if kids get less than ten hours of sleep a night, they'll grow up to be ne'er-do-wells, but if you feed them juice and avocados, at least they'll never get cancer. Also, food colorings will make them hyper, but you can detox them by feeding them a bunch of coconut oil, which is apparently nature's perfect oil.

In other food-related news, the local Wild Oats has developed some pretty serious air quality issues, perhaps in preparation for turning into a Whole Foods at the end of the year, so way to keep your customers, guys.

shooting fish in a barrel and unattended camera equipment

Today I learned that the government is moving people out of the FEMA trailers that they admitted will kill you. Toys of all kinds and microwave popcorn will kill you, too. This announcing things will kill you shtick is getting too easy.

The thing is that with the formaldehydey trailers, the government seems to be primarily concerned about getting sued* for giving people cancer. I don't have any proof, but I would expect more people to develop chemical sensitivities much sooner than cancer. Since the government has taken years to sort of identify Gulf War Syndrome, I would expect they could fail to recognize FEMA Trailer Syndrome equally well, so it's not clear to me that they have anything to worry about.

In other news, it appears that meerkats are surprisingly good photographers. If you need confirmation, the Times covered it, too, but without the pictures.


* Since the miners' families near the New Mexico border aren't doing too well with their trailers, either, I would expect trailer manufacturers to be worried about being sued instead of the government, except that we have this government.

burglary and ADHD

Today I got to talking to a neighbor who told me all about who's had their houses broken into around here or had cars stolen. She lives nearer one of the bigger streets around here, but I got to wondering what all actually happens in this neighborhood, and what I learned will shock you. (Not much probably, but after Sunday's culture of fear post, I felt obligated.)

Stores attract crime! At least all the high-crime blocks on this map of Tucson (pdf) coincide with places that have stores. The more stores, the more crime. Therefore, the mall will kill you.

In other news, 9% of kids these days have ADHD, and here is the quote of the day:

The discovery that ADHD is more common among poorer people is probably related to other risk factors for the disorder, such as use of tobacco, low birth weight and lead exposure, Shaw said.

And instead of getting the crap out of the kids, or the crap away from the kids and their moms, here's what our psychiatrists are thinking:

Shaw noted that those children most at risk receive the worst care. "It is clear once again that it is the poorest of our community who are deprived of the benefits of the most effective treatment -- psychopharmacology for this condition," he said.

Actually, I suppose the psychiatrists are correct that drugs are the only answer. Cleaning up pollutants in poor neighborhoods isn't a huge priority, and trying to get people to quit smoking is probably easier than getting them to give up soda pop and Froot Loops, which I'm quite confident are not helping the problem.

And last but not least, some guy in Rhode Island ransomed his mother's cat.

weirdo phases

Today I figured out that I've just gotten out of an interesting phase of this illness, or rather my recovery from it. I started a sugar binge about three months ago, and I got over it last week. About a year ago, I went through a phase where I could daydream to the extent that you had to work to get my attention. Before I got sick, the only time I ever daydreamed like that was when my family would go on week-long hikes in the Sierras, and nobody needed my attention. Before I got sick, my last sugar binge phase wasn't quite this bad, but it lasted from about college until I got sick.

'Not quite this bad' is an understatement. This time, I gained six pounds in three months.

I don't like it.

I'm going to make it go away.

news media and timeless advice

Today I learned by watching Bowling for Columbine that Americans are just afraid of stuff, and our news media report more scary stuff than other countries' media. I suppose now I'm practically obligated to report that the news people are trying to kill us! Y'know, by raising our blood pressure and giving us heart attacks.

That kind of ties in with what I learned this morning, which was not to read any more Sunday newspapers. They have all these horrible human-interest sob stories, which drove me to the weird news, where I learned that Santa Catalina Island off the coast of Southern California has a 200-strong buffalo herd on it left over from a film in the 1920s. That was a useful piece of information because thinking about a buffalo herd reminded me of a song about how you can't rollerskate in a buffalo herd, but you can be happy if you've a mind to, and that turned out to be very helpful after the sob stories.

In other bovine news, a bull got loose at the Minnesota State Fair, and it took on a fire hydrant. It lost. It is thus we learn that when God made bulls, he forgot to build in a fear a fire hydrants.

So, all together now: fire hydrants will kill you!

averted oven-related disaster, deer, and birds

Today I learned that the reason the oven did us in yesterday was that we had a puddle of olive oil in the bottom from bad french fry baking technique. It wasn't too hard to scrub off, which was really nice, given our previous experience with the oven's self-cleaning cycle, for which we had an evacuation plan.

We plan our evacuations carefully so that they are at least entertaining, so despite not needing to leave, we went to the Rooster Cogburn Ostrich Ranch and learned that ostrich egg laying season (in Arizona at least) is pretty much January through the middle of July, unless it rains, but it apparently rains a lot more in Tucson in the summer than it does up in Pinal County, where the ranch is, so eggs are few and far between this time of year. Also, if you actually meet a bunch of ostriches with food on your person, it becomes very apparent that ostriches are actually a snake with a beak mounted on the body of a big wild animal. There's a reason that in the ostrich feeding area, you dump the food into a funnel that drops it through the fence into small troughs, which are then pecked to death by the snakes.

The ranch also has deer that eat the same horse food as the ostriches, and they are much less frightening. They'll eat politely out of your hand unless the one with the horns whacks them out of the way, in which case, they make peeping noises.

Besides animals that eat horse food, the ranch fairly recently acquired a walk-in aviary with a bunch of lorikeets in it. The signs all warned that they bite, but in fact, they seem really content to perch on your hands and lick up the nectar in the little plastic cups the people hand you when you give them $5 to feed their animals for them. Having a bunch of dove-sized parakeet-y things screeching merrily and perched all over me, including on my hat, which they chewed up a little, totally made up for the fact that they only had one ostrich egg to sell us at the store.

In other news, I learned that in 1970, you could fit four people in three airplane seats as demonstrated in the movie Airport, which just by existing, almost required that someone make Airplane!.