no party for you

Today I read part of a Jehovah's Witness handout and learned that God's Word is unfavorable in regards to birthday parties, but "wholesome gatherings of friends and family at other times to eat, drink, and rejoice" are ok.

The handout says that birthday parties are rife with idolatrous worship.

So now I'm wondering:

• Nobody ever worshipped me at my party. Am I doing it wrong?
• If not the person, are we supposed to be worshipping the cake or the presents?
• Maybe it's Chuck E. Cheese. I hear they have fights at Chuck E. Cheese.

But for all we know, there really could be something to those clown phobias.

theoretically, all you have to do is touch it

Today I learned that the hardest part of the the local community college's writing assessment test is the touch screen you have to use to sign in. The kid behind me in line could make it do anything, but it wouldn't respond to me in any way until I used the end of my pen on it, and it seemed to like that fine.

I want to take an online class, and before you sign up, they want to make sure you have the ability to write things that won't make your professors tear their hair out. I may be sick, and I may be a physicist, but it was a multiple-choice copy editing test, and the lady sounded all impressed that I finished it so quickly.

We sick ladies take our ego boosts where we can get them.

road trip

Recently I learned that I should absolutely believe the other EIs who have always said to avoid California's Central Valley. We'd always tried it via I-5 in summer, when for me, the worst problem (not counting Barstow and Bakersfield pollution) was the traffic speed oscillations driving my husband nuts. This time, it was traffic oscillations combined with a frightening brownish haze that could have come straight from an apocalyptic science fiction movie. We bailed for 101 in short order.

Also learned on our recent trip:

• If you hit LA around 1 or 1:30 and are out the other side by 3, you don't get stuck in traffic.
• Joshua Tree National Park is gorgeous, but they aren't kidding about air quality problems from Los Angeles leaking into the park.
• Joshua trees are a funny kind of yucca.