recipes must be followed to the letter

Today I learned how to make "salt rising bread." This is what the pioneer ladies used to make when they couldn't get yeast, and it has nothing to do with salt. According to the internet, the pioneer ladies liked to make a starter using cornmeal and maybe a potato or two in water, plus maybe a bunch of other stuff, and they kept their starters at exactly 110^o F (they apparently had super-accurate wood stove thermometers) for 8 to 10 hours. Then, if the starter worked, they could make some bread, but if it didn't, they threw it out and started over.

In the interests of not adding any more corn to my diet, I tried putting a starter made of only flour and water in a warm spot (the oven with the light on) for 8 to 10 hours and throwing it out when it didn't 'start.' Then I remembered that following directions when it comes to food was never my strong suit, and I made another starter that I set out on the counter until it started, dammit, and then I made bread.

Thus I will conclude that:

• Patience is a virtue;
• Having a high tolerance for junk on your counter can be a good thing;
• Following directions is only a useful skill if you are dealing with some aspects of government or attempting to get good grades in school.

In other news, the really, really sick lady watched five minutes of the Weather Channel today after not having a tolerable tv for 8 years. She seemed kind of unimpressed, but 5 minutes of tv is a huge step forward considering her usual entertainment is watching (a) the bugs outside her window, or (b) the ceiling. Also, the lady who has lived in her car for 25 years passed her driver's license eye test, so she's good to go for another 5 years, whether or not her car is.

It's been an exciting couple of days.