death and shuffleboard

Today I learned that the following things will kill you:

1. Dancing, if you do it very enthusiastically and goof up.
2. Hamburgers. Probably all hamburgers, but particularly those with metallic ingredients.
3. Rebates, but probably only those given to doctors for prescribing some drugs that will, of course, kill you.
4. Utility companies, but maybe only if you are a fish.
5. Rebates and utility companies, but that's only if you're solar power in Southern California, and it should get better.

I also learned to play simplified-for-people-with-bad-memories shuffleboard. We had a tournament, and only three of us had ever played before, but the final was between two people who'd never played before. I expect knowing everybody on the court makes a big difference, but shuffleboard is surprisingly entertaining.