holy bloodhounds, Batman

Today we got an estimate for replacing our time bomb pipes from a nice, man-shaped cologne bomb. If I didn't know better, I'd have to assume that people who wear that much cologne are actively trying to kill people, but he seemed awfully nice.

To be clear, a lot of EIs are single ladies who have to talk to these guys themselves, so they politely request over the phone while scheduling a visit that whoever gets sent over not reek. (Not in those words.) My husband schedules these things, so I don't worry about it. I can always air my house out afterwards, right?

I had no idea how much one person could reek of cologne. After I got the place aired out, I had to go around figuring out what he touched. So far, I think all he got was a cupboard, the dishwasher, and the back of the couch. I have never been happier that my couch is completely washable.

So today I learned that it's quite likely asking this guy to not put on cologne in the morning wouldn't have helped at all. I mean, if it's oozing out of his pores to the extent that I can track his handprints, a shower is not going to help.