polonium, wild geese, mayhem, and back strain

Today I learned that:

• You can buy polonium-210 on the internet for $69, but the article I read cagily did not say for how much or how much you need to poison someone, and now my mighty (not so much today) broken physicist brain is working on how you'd calculate that without just compar-- never mind.
• The Esplanade Association in charge of keeping the banks of the Charles River tidy has a professional wild goose chaser.
• The Chicago Tribune is always good for reporting mayhem. It's all car accidents and shootings, and I'm sure it's not any worse there than other big cities, but the only other paper I ever noticed having that much violence is the Reading Eagle.
• In non-mayhem-related news, the Tribune reports that slouching puts less strain on your lower back than sitting bolt upright.