Saturday, August 05, 2006

a big hill and Kaballah water

Today I rode my road bike up a really big hill. When I was healthy, I could do this hill in 30 minutes. Today I did it in 27.

This is not to say I'm in better shape. The only reason it didn't take me all day was because I had my trusty assistance fast guy with me, and he spent a lot of time with one hand on my back, pushing me up the hill. The very best part was when we got near anybody who smelled like laundry detergent, he would push me like a kid on a swing, sacrificing all his momentum, so I'd fly up past them. It was excellent. The only bummer was when we got to the top, about ten motorcycles went by (a common Saturday occurrence), and then the air was so bad I had to get the heck off the ridge before I got much of a chance to bask.

Before we went on this expedition, I wasn't at all sure I wanted to know how my present performance would compare with my past, but what I learned is that it really doesn't matter. I got to draft off a fast guy, ride up a scenic road, and as a bonus, I actually got to the top. So apparently, the end does justify the means.

The other thing I learned today is that Kaballah (or kabbala) water, at $3.80 for a 1.5 liter bottle*, is supposed to be better ordered than ordinary water, so it can reverse chaotic stuff like cancer. It sounds like you have to drink something like three bottles a day for six months to cure cancer, but it may depend on how bad your cancer is.

And you all know the cheaper way to make water orderly, right? You freeze it.


* I can't confirm the price of Kaballah water anywhere on the internet, probably because I can't get the Kaballah Centre's site to load. That may have something to do with recent media attention, or it could have something to do with the fact that rabbis say there is no such thing as Kaballah water.

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