things I should have learned in elementary school

My husband informs me that I should have learned about the rotatable plate on staplers in elementary school. You know, the one that determines whether the staple looks like a staple, or like a splayed mistake? Apparently I spent too much time following directions and not enough time fiddling with tools other people might need to use. Another thing - you don't want to know what happened when I figured out how car cigarette lighters work, and exactly how embarrassingly old I was when I learned it. I just never knew anyone who smoked in a car, ever, and my parents disabled the things when I was little.

Tile Update:
Tile glaze can kill you. First we liked the stuff with the lime pops, and now we have ruled out the pretty stuff that gives me heart palpitations. We're currently aiming for whatever the heck works, as long as it isn't green or something. Standards are hard to maintain.