things that'll kill you

Today I learned that a common insecticide will make your children stupid. But since diet soda and energy drinks will kill them off when they get to be teenagers, it probably won't be a problem. In the unlikely event they survive to adulthood, they'll probably end up on a commute train at some point, which will definitely finish them off.

Another thing that could kill you? A husband who rode on an airplane. His bag smells better than he does, and it didn't even take a shower.