warning: sick lady rambling
Today I learned that November is not only write-a-novel month, but write-a-blog-post-a-day month. I pretty much do that anyway, so that shouldn't be hard, and there are prizes and everything! Unfortunately, it's too late to sign up for the prize drawings, but since I imagine 30-day novels are of incomparable quality, this post ought to fit right in, so:
Today I learned Trader Joe's fragrance-free laundry detergent is harder to get out of things than borax was. Either that, or what with the pollution and all I'm going to feel like death warmed over no matter what, so no amount of beating my quilt to death on 'air fluff' is going to make much of a difference today. I'm still optimistically beating it to death in the hopes that I get to sleep with a blanket tonight. Sleeping sounds nice.
In an effort to distract myself from myself, I learned that according to this site*, Mr. Rumsfeld, who just resigned as Secretary of Defense, is responsible for poisoning people with aspartame. Ok, keeping in mind that everybody knows somebody who gets a headache from aspartame, it's not clear to me that aspartame is any worse for the general population than perfume, which I believe I've said several times should only be handled by a hazmat team.
So, I completely agree that aspartame is evil, even if that article sounds like extremist nuttiness to me, just like the anti-fluoridation articles from the '90s. It'll all how you pitch it. Anyway, since today I'm just looking for distractions, I'm going to make up my own crackpot theory. Here it is:
Since there are a bunch of people who agree that aspartame is toxic but the FDA isn't taking it off the market, it's obvious that the government wants to poison some portion of the population. The people who consume the most aspartame-containing products are probably obese, so this is just the government's way of reducing the obesity epidemic.
I think we need to start an email campaign to get this important information out. But please, I'm far too humble to want my name attached to it, so you should probably attribute it to someone, you know, credible.
* "The Most Format & Content-Plagiarized Site On The Net," which, I'm sorry if I offend anyone, appears to me to be mostly populated with made-up, nutball conspiracy-theory bulls***. I'm just saying what it looks like to me.
Today I learned Trader Joe's fragrance-free laundry detergent is harder to get out of things than borax was. Either that, or what with the pollution and all I'm going to feel like death warmed over no matter what, so no amount of beating my quilt to death on 'air fluff' is going to make much of a difference today. I'm still optimistically beating it to death in the hopes that I get to sleep with a blanket tonight. Sleeping sounds nice.
In an effort to distract myself from myself, I learned that according to this site*, Mr. Rumsfeld, who just resigned as Secretary of Defense, is responsible for poisoning people with aspartame. Ok, keeping in mind that everybody knows somebody who gets a headache from aspartame, it's not clear to me that aspartame is any worse for the general population than perfume, which I believe I've said several times should only be handled by a hazmat team.
So, I completely agree that aspartame is evil, even if that article sounds like extremist nuttiness to me, just like the anti-fluoridation articles from the '90s. It'll all how you pitch it. Anyway, since today I'm just looking for distractions, I'm going to make up my own crackpot theory. Here it is:
Since there are a bunch of people who agree that aspartame is toxic but the FDA isn't taking it off the market, it's obvious that the government wants to poison some portion of the population. The people who consume the most aspartame-containing products are probably obese, so this is just the government's way of reducing the obesity epidemic.
I think we need to start an email campaign to get this important information out. But please, I'm far too humble to want my name attached to it, so you should probably attribute it to someone, you know, credible.
* "The Most Format & Content-Plagiarized Site On The Net," which, I'm sorry if I offend anyone, appears to me to be mostly populated with made-up, nutball conspiracy-theory bulls***. I'm just saying what it looks like to me.
posted by missmolly at 4:47 PM
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