vituperative, foul-mouthed bloggers on the left

Today the weather is back to the non-monsoon pattern, so for me the world is a better place. Thus I went out (figuratively) and learned that people think bloggers just talk about politics, when in fact, about 37% of us just talk about ourselves, and 11% talk about politics. I recognize that my politics ("Ban synthetic chemicals now!") are not exactly achievable in the near future since I'm up against giant corporations that make products like Tide,* which has its own website where, if you are seriously laundry-obsessed, you can sign up to be a member and have a personalized Tide page. Now I'm mad because I learned they're introducing a bunch of mood-smell Tides, and those kinds of things are always more fragrant than the original product, which is bad enough.

Ok, back to bloggers and politics. This nifty op-ed piece discusses how we're developing a bunch of politicians who, for the greater good, fail to follow the party line. Politicians who listen to 'the vituperative, foul-mouthed bloggers on the left' or 'the doctrinaire religious extremists on the right who would convert their faith into a whipping post for their opponents' are getting left in the dust.

I freely admit that I don't read any vituperative, foul-mouthed bloggers on the left, but I'm feeling a little obstreperous today, so I have to try it out:

It says here that the US government has chosen Boeing, which, as a large corporation is by definition $#!@% evil, to contruct a huge, science-fiction fence across the Mexican and Canadian borders. It'll have towers, motion detectors, seismic detectors, heat sensors, cameras, and a computer network, not to mention the ten-pound (4.5 kg), camera-equipped, flying, truck-mounted** tracking drones. So here are some ^&%#$& important details that the idiots who thought this up have overlooked:

1. The fence will have to go all the way around the country unless we want everybody to arrive on floating products of oil-industry collaborators like the Cubans.
2. The whole project is going to cost more than wallpapering every inch of the Pentagon in $100 bills, even if it's only asking for $130 million, which it may not get. Right now drug- and people-smugglers aren't exactly love-your-neighbor types. Put some high-tech tower in their way, and they will shoot the &%^%#$ out of it, and then you'll have repair bills.

It is my considered opinion as an extremely well-read science fiction nerd that the only way to keep a fence like that running (if it ever runs at all, which from the article is not clear) is to, ahem, set it to 'kill' so it can protect itself, and I think everyone here knows how that kind of thing turns out. Since we don't have the technology to do that yet, and I really, really don't want to live in one of those futuristic countries with a deadly force field around it, I will positively declare this fence to be as stupid an idea as that whole star wars thing during the Reagan administration. Also that thing where we were just going to go to Iraq for a little while and everybody would love us. What a bunch of &^%#$@ morons.

Y'know, what I think I learned here is that when it comes to politics, I'm going to need some practice if I want to get anywhere near vituperative. Also, I could delete any one of the cartoon swear words without losing anything, so clearly I'm doing it wrong. This, folks, was a @*&^$* pathetic effort.


* Disclaimer: before she got sick, Miss Molly used Unscented Tide, which besides having a bunch of petroleum-based chemicals in it, has a bunch of masking chemicals to fix it so your nose doesn't detect their smell. As a result of constant exposure from her clothing and bedding, Miss Molly is now hugely sensitive to Tide. Also Bounce, which - here's a little known fact - is made by Satan.

** I'm not clear on how, exactly, the flying, truck-mounted drone works. I bet they meant truck-transported. Oh, wait a minute - I mean, what a bunch of !@%#^&$ incompetent morons.