bad news and spam

Today I learned that Dupont-supplied bottled water will kill you, people throwing rocks at the devil got trampled because somebody tripped over luggage, and some little boy 2 million years ago got pecked to death by a bird.

I'm sick, so I have a free pass to not think about the news. Thus I will attempt to direct your attention away from it by telling you about an email I got today. It offers me, personally, a free $500 gift card for Best Buy. You can imagine how impressed I was (not very), but the best part was the subject line, which, in a surprising new direction for marketing, was '"Electronics" desexualization'.