BREAKING NEWS

I just spent upwards of three years not using baking soda for my laundry detergent because I didn't want to develop a sensitivity to it. About two weeks ago, when I started developing a washing soda sensitivity, I started using baking soda, figuring that I'm getting so much better that baking soda would be safe.

Baking soda is no longer safe. The good news is that my middle-of-the-night laundry revelations are much less painful than they used to be, but this is probably going to hurt for another hour and a half or so.

I'll take this opportunity to record my baking-soda-required banana bread recipe, which I'm pretty sure only lives in my head and will evaporate shortly from disuse:

3 big bananas or 4 little ones, mashed
1/3 cup oil
1/4 cup beet sugar
1 1/2 cups garbanzo flour
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon cream of tartar

Preheat your oven to 375. Stir up your glop, put it in a giant muffin tin, which takes 30 minutes, or a bread pan, which takes 45.

Now I have to figure out what to do with the really, really sick lady's leftover bananas, which tend to congregate in my freezer. Maybe I'll make goopy unrisen muffins until my husband complains.