middle of the night edition

Today started kind of early. I woke up about 1:30 this morning and eventually wrote this:

So I'm reacting to my hormones, and it's keeping me up, but this reaction isn't nearly as bad as it used to be. I mean, I'm able to make snide comments at 4 am in the middle of what used to be a debilitating twelve-hour reaction, so you'd have to pay me money to complain about it.

Anyway, so far I've learned that

• The New York Times has articles on safer cleaning products and the safety of cosmetics this morning.
• Here's a dolphin with hind legs.

Then, lacking snide comments, I went back to sleep.

I still don't have any good snide comments, but to make up for it, this evening I found the following truly excellent quote of the day:

Q. I am having trouble finding fire-roasted crushed tomatoes for a recipe. What can I substitute?

A. Oh boy, can we relate to that! Just the other day we were looking for some 4.36-ounce, malt-infused, wasabe-scented, sliced-on-the-bias, free-range, southern-Washington-state, line-caught, hand-massaged salmon fillets for a special recipe, and in the end, we just used salmon.