new pants

Today I learned that if I were to go to the mall and wander around in the interior, I could get into a big department store by going back outside and going in the side door of the store, thereby bypassing the perfume counter. I'm pretty sure that's not what the stores are hoping for, but this strategy allowed me to hang around the mall for upwards of an hour, during which I learned that I am now officially old. I really, really needed new jeans, and I bought the same style that worked for me in college.

I'm really, really old.

But now I have pants that aren't suffering from age-related ventilation.