(anyone who believes this should be slapped)

World Jump Day is coming! Here's an article about it, but a German artist has a website where upwards of 600 million people have signed up to jump at the same time in order to shift Earth's orbit and fix global warming.

I should have thought of that. Ok, I'm thinking....

I got it: everybody get an aerosol can and point it west, and at the same time we all spray for a minute, maybe we can speed up the rotation of the planet! Um, now I'm trying to figure out what that would accomplish....

Gravity would be slightly counteracted by centripetal acceleration, so everybody would lose weight!!! Yes!! World Weight Loss Day. 'Scuse me, I gotta get a website.